Archive for May, 2013

Men are not a special interest group part 3

Posted in just opinionated, Rants with tags , on May 21, 2013 by idnami

So the main point I see being made by feminists in response to this series so far is that the issue of male victimization and abuse is, as with female abuse and victimization, a product of the patriarchy.

I don’t know about you but when I hear the word patriarchy I picture a bunch of tuxedoed, cigar smoking good old boys with impeccable silver hair slapping each other on the back and har har harring all the way to the bank. Who seriously disagrees with me that those guys need a takedown?

This post seems more venomous than the others. I think that means I am goddamn sick of this subject.

• I need men’s rights because if I am assaulted by my spouse, and I attempt to seek help, I risk arrest, imprisonment and life-long censure – even if I do not defend myself, even I am seriously injured while she is untouched;

Sadly this is often the case and I’ve seen it many times. On this one I have nothing to say except that fucking sucks and lets get together to build a society that doesn’t think men don’t hurt and women can’t be violent.

• I need men’s rights because I earned my accomplishments; they were not given to me by a fictitious masculine conspiracy;

Acknowledged. However that masculine conspiracy (which exists) has given you far more ample opportunity and encouragement to develop your accomplishments. Feminism does not wish to take this from you, but to see those opportunities grow until it is no longer surprising when a woman holds political office, excels at a sport or owns a business not pertaining to home or beauty products.

• I need men’s rights because I have a right to be a father for my own children;

Parenthood is not in fact a right. It is a privilege earned by being able to set aside self interest for the sake of the kid. If you aren’t capable of that then no, you don’t get to be a dad. I don’t intend this to malign the many loving, awesome dads who have been fucked over by bitchy spouses. But let’s be clear. People who don’t treat their children or their coparent well lose them. There are no rights involved in having stuck your dick in a woman and produced offspring. Biology does not confer rights. Just ask any woman who has lost her children.

• I need men’s rights because, as a man, I am much more likely to be physically assaulted than a woman;

I’d like to check the numbers on that one. But let’s say it’s true. You also have the right to defend yourself and were probably encouraged to learn how to do so during your childhood. And your sister was probably encouraged to value her physical attractiveness to the detriment of her physical capableness. 

• I need men’s rights because I will be chastised as a coward, and a failed man if I do not sacrifice my life to save a woman in a time of crisis;

You are all of those things and then some if you stand by and watch someone die because you won’t risk your own fucking precious skin. And you are even worse for complaining about it here. Grow some humanity, you pathetic bag of shit.  We are all here to help each other. 

• I need men’s rights because laws exist that demand harsher penalties for men for the same crime;

You’ve got me there.

• I need men’s rights because I have no lobbying voice in congress;

Why do you need a lobbying voice in congress when congress is 80% male?

• I need men’s rights because, as a man, I am more than 9 times more likely to be killed at work than a woman;

So work someplace safe and quit fucking whining.

• I need men’s rights because I am more likely to die young, and much less money is being spent on my health problems;

Having a slightly shorter natural life span than a woman is not the same as dying young. Take that shit up with God.

• I need men’s rights because, if I am killed in an accident, people will care less than if a woman or a child is killed. News readers make this clear every time they utter the phrase “women and children”;

Like your loved ones? Would your mom care less if you died than if your sister did? Would your wife care less if you died than if her best female friend did? She might care more if her kid died than if you did because you know what? A child’s life DOES matter more than yours, you disgusting, pathetic, self centred dipshit.  And you do not get the right to change that.

• I need men’s rights because society believes that my life is worth less than a woman’s;

Society also consistently rewards your contributions more than a woman’s. And considering that we are able to, you know, have babies and stuff we are in fact somewhat more biologically valuable. Once a woman has reached menopause, society by and large ceases to give one sweet fuck what happens to her. As a matter of fact, once she is past the prime of attractiveness her perceived value nosedives rather dramatically. And this is why you see aging male news anchors being paired with a rotation of women under 40. He keeps his career, hers is over as soon as the camera picks out a wrinkle.

• I need the men’s rights movement, because I am a human being.

No, you need human rights, and no one is going to try to take that away from you.

And finally, I need the men’s rights movement, because when I attempt to address any of these issues, my co-workers, my government, my media, my peers, my family, and the larger society I am a part of rises in unanimous voice to condemn me as a monster – simply for claiming my humanity.

So, like, men too? You mean there are also men who are capable of seeing that your level of privilege in our society is overinflated and while you deserve the same respect and protection from abuse as anyone, also recognizes that most of the above is a lot of bullshit? Amazing!

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Men are not a special interest group part 2

Posted in just opinionated, Rants with tags , , on May 17, 2013 by idnami

As promised, part 2. I’ve received the predictable amount of criticism for part 1 but I am impressed and gratified at the amount of discussion it’s generated. I don’t just mean in the comments here and on Facebook, but also between myself and my partner.

My partner is someone I consider exemplary of the best male virtues. He is physically strong and capable of anything from building bookshelves to punching out bad guys. My friends and I joke that he’s rassled lions and pooped on cobras and despite his extreme modesty on the subject of his amazing feats of derring-do, it really isn’t far from the truth. In addition to this he does his share of the housework, is touchingly kind to people and animals, humble to a fault, sensitive, loving and unafraid of his vulnerability. He is a balanced person whom I would not hesitate to trust with my own life and the life of my niece, who is the most important person in my world.

He also exemplifies some of the less endearing aspects of masculinity. I’m looking at a pair of his dirty socks on the living room floor right now. Nobody is perfect.

So because I love him and value his opinion I went through this list with him to find out what his thoughts were. Interestingly, we for the most part agree. This is because we are pretty realistic people with the same sarcastic sense of humour and we both think whiners need to suck it up and do something constructive. So I have the permission of my man to continue thinking thoughts and writing them down. Huzzah!

Here we go again. This time with pictures!

• I need men’s rights because talk-shows think it’s funny if I am wounded or sexually mutilated by a woman;

Ok I admit, when I heard about John and Loreena Bobbit I did laugh a bitter and vengeful laugh on her behalf. But I was like 13 at the time and have become somewhat more enlightened since.  Now I no longer think it is funny that anyone can be driven by abuse to such lengths as to avenge it by cutting off their abuser’s body parts. I think it’s sad. I also think talk shows are stupid.

• I need men’s rights because while the rape of a woman is properly regarded as a crime, the rape of a man is funny;

That is also not funny. Neither was it funny when Reteah Parsons was cyber-bullied into suicide by people who though her rape was funny.

• I need men’s rights because mutilation of male infants is considered normal – and those arguing for the protection of male infants from mutilation are regularly slandered as anti-semites and bigots;

This is touchy ground right here. Many religions practice barbaric and archaic habits that have existed since long before human rights became something people cared about. On the one hand, some uncut men choose circumcision later in life for a variety of reasons, including medical. On the other hand it is traumatic to an infant and usually unnecessary. I think the problem here is not society but a very deep resistance to change in human nature, especially when the change violates holy writ. This is why I am at best a lazy pagan and possibly veering toward atheism. But that is just me. I’d be tackling child rape by priests first, personally, because it is definitely much more traumatic and I was raised in Christianity and can do so with some impunity.

• I need men’s rights because my sexuality is routinely characterized as violent pathology, rather than as a natural part of my human identity;

Sexuality is a pretty personal thing, isn’t it? One person’s violent pathology is another person’s swingin’ Saturday night. I have kinks that others consider to be unsettling. I remain unaffected by what others think of this and I’d recommend the same. Unless you are a rapist, in which case, get help.

Violent pathology? Perhaps not. Fucking weird as shit? Yup.

Violent pathology? Perhaps not. Fucking weird as shit? Yup.

• I need men’s rights because women assume it’s my fault if I am assaulted by a woman;

There are some women who are bigger, stronger and meaner than men, who like to intimidate men. They are assholes just like men who do this. On the other hand, I was once compelled to use extreme force to repel my much larger male attacker/ex boyfriend. Despite it being self defense I was still arrested.

• I need men’s rights because people think it is irresponsible to have me work around children;

Again, who are YOU? Some people shouldn’t be around kids. But considering all the male teachers, camp counsellors and child psychologists there are, if YOU are considered irresponsible around children, maybe you are. Or maybe you’re a catholic priest.

kindergarten cop

• I need men’s rights because I have the right to the same sexual sovereignty given to women;

I do not even know what this means.

• I need men’s rights because I believe that the feminist idea that a woman in the United States is equally oppressed as a woman in Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia in cruel and insulting;

Again, Canadian over here. But did you know, human trafficking also happens here? Did you know we have Sharia courts here? And that many women are compelled to obey their husbands or suffer their wrath? And exactly what the fuck do any of those facts have to do with your need for male rights?

• I need men’s rights because I should not be ashamed of my sexuality;

Well neither should I but I was getting called a slut before I was ever sexually active. Do you know how many women are psychologically incapable of orgasm because of the prevailing underlying idea that nice girls don’t have sex for their own pleasure? If we can overcome that, so can you. Chin up, boys!

furry-fandom-sex-fetish

• I need men’s rights because women who find me unattractive will shame me can call me creepy for politely interacting with them, and they will be praised for this cruelty;

Maybe you are creepy? Some guys are creepy. 

Pictured: The guy who made creeps cool.

Pictured: The guy who made creeps cool.

• I need men’s rights because I was sexually harassed by several drunk women twice my age and everyone at the party thought it was funny;

So if they were attractive and your age or younger would it have been acceptable?

• I need men’s rights because my size and strength is commonly used to pretend that I am violent, which I am not;

Just be glad you aren’t fat, which according to society strips you of all human value.

• I need men’s rights because if I am small or weak doesn’t mean I have a Napoleon complex;

Doesn’t mean you don’t, either. But that bully who kicked sand in your face? Probably a dude. He needs rights too cuz he’s a man!

• I need men’s rights because the type of car I drive does not give you the right to shame me or belittle me;

My boyfriend says, “Yeah it does.” And you have no one to blame for it but yourselves. Decades of men identifying with their cars to an almost fanatical extent have impressed on us all that the guy in the Mazerati is cool and slick (and loaded), the guy in the Dodge Ram is a rough, tough manly man, and the guy driving the shitty Pinto with rust spots and garbage all over the floor probably has an apartment to match (in his mom’s basement) and who wants to date that guy? Not me. My boyfriend doesn’t even have a car, though he has a shitty bike that I rag him about constantly.

The the guy who drives this probably has a Napolean complex.

The the guy who drives this probably has a Napolean complex.

• I need men’s rights because I have the right to associate with other men without legal action forcing me to allow women, too;

Freemasons. Also I freely invite you to check out Curves Fitness one day and see how much it sucks. Make it lame or boring or wussy enough and even women won’t want to go there. I advise you to start up a poker night like my friend Pat’s husband. Or fantasy baseball. Or just hang a No Girls Allowed sign on your garage and watch how fast you never get laid again.

No Girls Allowed!

No Girls Allowed!

Whew! Believe it or not, the mantra doesn’t end there. But some of us have lives. Part 3 to come!

Sorry guys, men are not a “special interest group” Part 1

Posted in Goddamn feminism again, just opinionated, Uncategorized on May 15, 2013 by idnami

Today I was reminded that men’s rights activism is a thing. A friend on Facebook posted a status denouncing people who engage in “fat shaming, slut shaming, rape jokes, homophobia, transphobia, and racism.” And I totally agree with her.

The comment thread was possibly the longest and most impassioned thing I’ve ever read… well, scanned. I don’t have that kind of time, even for amusing rhetoric. But the conversation seemed to revolve heavily around the tenets of Men’s Rights Activism.

For those of you who don’t know, MRA is a growing movement of men who are sick of feminist bitching and feel that things have gotten out of balance in favour of women. They have this big long mantra listing all the ways they are oppressed by society.

It makes me indignant. This is not because I don’t believe that some men do suffer spousal abuse, rape and discrimination. They totally do. What bugs me is that they feel the need to augment those very serious and valid problems with a laundry list of bullshit. Because it’s not bad enough that we can’t even create accurate statistics on rape because both male and female victims are too afraid or ashamed to report it, so let’s make some shit up to emphasize the victimhood of men by feminism.

People who have been violently assaulted, had their reputations ruined or lost their children unfairly to their co-parent have my absolute sympathy but the list below is overcompensating for a lot of things. So I present it with my rebuttals. In pink!

WARNING: Contains heavy sarcasm, stereotyping and bitchiness. Cuz I never said I was a role model.


• I need men’s rights because if she changes her mind the next day, I go to jail for 5-7 years;

The very next day? Without trial? Without a tedious, years-long crawl through the legal system? Without evidence? This is not to deny that a woman is capable of lying and some are bitches enough to lie about that, but few can keep it up through multiple court appearances. There are far more real victims who are terrified to step forward than bitches lying about rape. 

• I need men’s rights because I was the victim of abuse but nobody believed me;

See above. We have a shitty culture that blames and shames the victims. We all need to work on changing that.

• I need men’s rights because I am less likely to go to college, and if I do, I will make less money than my female contemporaries;

Did you just play some kind of screwy trick with statistics there? I think what you’re possibly getting at is that because more women are attending college the ratio of men to women is shrinking. Also because there are more women applying there are fewer spots available for men because we’re hogging them all up with our good grades and stuff. Guess you all better step it up. Don’t worry if you don’t make it. You can always find some absurdly well paid woman to support you.

• I need men’s rights because the president sees the shrinking number of men in colleges across America as “a great success”;

I can’t argue this statement at all because I’m Canadian. My national leader’s idea of great success is poisoning all the water, muzzling all the scientists, censoring the CBC and putting all the natives in jail.

• I need men’s rights because people question if I am a predator when I am alone with my child;

Most people I know think good dads are, you know, good. If mom getting a night to herself once in awhile means dad takes over the diaper changing for awhile you’ll be elbow deep in poopy before anyone questions anything. And I don’t mean that in some horrible pedophillic way.

• I need men’s rights because a man’s appearance, height, and weight has a greater affect on his income than it does for a woman;

This is plainly true. Everyone knows that the only reputable plumbers are tubby with hairy butt cracks.

• I need men’s rights because saying “it’s impossible to discriminate against men in our society” allows people to discriminate with impunity;

Kind of like saying “Feminists need to shut the fuck up” allows people to disregard us with impunity?

• I need men’s rights because traditionally masculine characteristics are virtues not flaws;

It depends which characteristics you mean and to what extent they define the person as a human being. There are many lovely manly virtues which if unbalanced turn into flaws pretty damn quick.

• I need men’s rights because the likelihood of my death coming by suicide is four times higher than it is for women, though I receive little support;

So, like, don’t kill yourself maybe? I know I sound like a dick there but that kind of thinking has kept me alive so far.

• I need men’s rights because it is not considered bigoted or sexist to deny me a male safe space at my college by those who have possessed their own safe spaces for decades;

I thought you weren’t going to college? Well if you do miraculously prevail against your feminist oppressors and get in I promise not to enter your stinky frathouse. Not even to clean it.

• I need men’s rights because it is assumed that a meeting of men in a male safe space is automatically going to devolve into hateful sexism and violence;

You guys could seriously win awards for sweeping overgeneralization. But considering that every men’s rights site I’ve ever seen has been peppered with hateful sexism, you may be right. And those assuming may have a point. But my friend Pat’s husband kicks her out every Friday night for his men-only poker game and so far no one has been ragemurdered. Yet.

• I need men’s rights because broad gender-wide slurs against men are socially accepted;

I’ll see your slurs and raise you dumb blondes, sluts, feminazis and the assumption that single mothers are all strippers or sucking their baby daddies dry to support their lavish lifestyles.

• I need men’s rights because my life, career, reputation and connection with my family can be easily destroyed by a single, false and anonymously whispered accusation;

Anyone’s could, dumbass.

• I need men’s rights because when women stumble blame rests on society, but when men stumble it is their fault;

When I stumble I blame it on my boyfriend for always leaving his stuff where I will trip over it. When he stumbles I say, “Serves you right. Now quit leaving your boots right in the doorway.” So yeah I guess that’s true.

• I need men’s rights because in my physically demanding career, I am expected to do much more work for “equal” pay;

Much more work than whom? Did you know, many women are quite capable of swinging a hammer just as hard as you? Unfortunately the typical male response to a woman picking up a hammer is along the lines of, “Whoa there little lady! Better put that down before you break a nail.” I’d advise you to get a cushy office job like I have, but your physically demanding one pays way more.

• I need men’s rights because it is fine to call me a “dick”, a “cock”, or a “prick” on the street or on television; a woman must never be called a “cunt”;

Try not to be such a pussy about it.

Believe it or not there are a whole bunch more, but I’ve taxed my readers’ attention span enough for one day.  To be continued!