Sorry guys, men are not a “special interest group” Part 1
Today I was reminded that men’s rights activism is a thing. A friend on Facebook posted a status denouncing people who engage in “fat shaming, slut shaming, rape jokes, homophobia, transphobia, and racism.” And I totally agree with her.
The comment thread was possibly the longest and most impassioned thing I’ve ever read… well, scanned. I don’t have that kind of time, even for amusing rhetoric. But the conversation seemed to revolve heavily around the tenets of Men’s Rights Activism.
For those of you who don’t know, MRA is a growing movement of men who are sick of feminist bitching and feel that things have gotten out of balance in favour of women. They have this big long mantra listing all the ways they are oppressed by society.
It makes me indignant. This is not because I don’t believe that some men do suffer spousal abuse, rape and discrimination. They totally do. What bugs me is that they feel the need to augment those very serious and valid problems with a laundry list of bullshit. Because it’s not bad enough that we can’t even create accurate statistics on rape because both male and female victims are too afraid or ashamed to report it, so let’s make some shit up to emphasize the victimhood of men by feminism.
People who have been violently assaulted, had their reputations ruined or lost their children unfairly to their co-parent have my absolute sympathy but the list below is overcompensating for a lot of things. So I present it with my rebuttals. In pink!
WARNING: Contains heavy sarcasm, stereotyping and bitchiness. Cuz I never said I was a role model.
• I need men’s rights because if she changes her mind the next day, I go to jail for 5-7 years;
The very next day? Without trial? Without a tedious, years-long crawl through the legal system? Without evidence? This is not to deny that a woman is capable of lying and some are bitches enough to lie about that, but few can keep it up through multiple court appearances. There are far more real victims who are terrified to step forward than bitches lying about rape.
• I need men’s rights because I was the victim of abuse but nobody believed me;
See above. We have a shitty culture that blames and shames the victims. We all need to work on changing that.
• I need men’s rights because I am less likely to go to college, and if I do, I will make less money than my female contemporaries;
Did you just play some kind of screwy trick with statistics there? I think what you’re possibly getting at is that because more women are attending college the ratio of men to women is shrinking. Also because there are more women applying there are fewer spots available for men because we’re hogging them all up with our good grades and stuff. Guess you all better step it up. Don’t worry if you don’t make it. You can always find some absurdly well paid woman to support you.
• I need men’s rights because the president sees the shrinking number of men in colleges across America as “a great success”;
I can’t argue this statement at all because I’m Canadian. My national leader’s idea of great success is poisoning all the water, muzzling all the scientists, censoring the CBC and putting all the natives in jail.
• I need men’s rights because people question if I am a predator when I am alone with my child;
Most people I know think good dads are, you know, good. If mom getting a night to herself once in awhile means dad takes over the diaper changing for awhile you’ll be elbow deep in poopy before anyone questions anything. And I don’t mean that in some horrible pedophillic way.
• I need men’s rights because a man’s appearance, height, and weight has a greater affect on his income than it does for a woman;
This is plainly true. Everyone knows that the only reputable plumbers are tubby with hairy butt cracks.
• I need men’s rights because saying “it’s impossible to discriminate against men in our society” allows people to discriminate with impunity;
Kind of like saying “Feminists need to shut the fuck up” allows people to disregard us with impunity?
• I need men’s rights because traditionally masculine characteristics are virtues not flaws;
It depends which characteristics you mean and to what extent they define the person as a human being. There are many lovely manly virtues which if unbalanced turn into flaws pretty damn quick.
• I need men’s rights because the likelihood of my death coming by suicide is four times higher than it is for women, though I receive little support;
So, like, don’t kill yourself maybe? I know I sound like a dick there but that kind of thinking has kept me alive so far.
• I need men’s rights because it is not considered bigoted or sexist to deny me a male safe space at my college by those who have possessed their own safe spaces for decades;
I thought you weren’t going to college? Well if you do miraculously prevail against your feminist oppressors and get in I promise not to enter your stinky frathouse. Not even to clean it.
• I need men’s rights because it is assumed that a meeting of men in a male safe space is automatically going to devolve into hateful sexism and violence;
You guys could seriously win awards for sweeping overgeneralization. But considering that every men’s rights site I’ve ever seen has been peppered with hateful sexism, you may be right. And those assuming may have a point. But my friend Pat’s husband kicks her out every Friday night for his men-only poker game and so far no one has been ragemurdered. Yet.
• I need men’s rights because broad gender-wide slurs against men are socially accepted;
I’ll see your slurs and raise you dumb blondes, sluts, feminazis and the assumption that single mothers are all strippers or sucking their baby daddies dry to support their lavish lifestyles.
• I need men’s rights because my life, career, reputation and connection with my family can be easily destroyed by a single, false and anonymously whispered accusation;
Anyone’s could, dumbass.
• I need men’s rights because when women stumble blame rests on society, but when men stumble it is their fault;
When I stumble I blame it on my boyfriend for always leaving his stuff where I will trip over it. When he stumbles I say, “Serves you right. Now quit leaving your boots right in the doorway.” So yeah I guess that’s true.
• I need men’s rights because in my physically demanding career, I am expected to do much more work for “equal” pay;
Much more work than whom? Did you know, many women are quite capable of swinging a hammer just as hard as you? Unfortunately the typical male response to a woman picking up a hammer is along the lines of, “Whoa there little lady! Better put that down before you break a nail.” I’d advise you to get a cushy office job like I have, but your physically demanding one pays way more.
• I need men’s rights because it is fine to call me a “dick”, a “cock”, or a “prick” on the street or on television; a woman must never be called a “cunt”;
Try not to be such a pussy about it.
Believe it or not there are a whole bunch more, but I’ve taxed my readers’ attention span enough for one day. To be continued!